I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
only if we run a train.
done.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
