I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
