I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
