their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
