First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
