Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i now understand why vodka
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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