I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
