you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
