I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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