i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
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