i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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