Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
accomplished twins. life is a go
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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