onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
