She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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