My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
