My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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