Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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