so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize