I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
