Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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