He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize