You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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