dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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