Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
