Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
