your thong is hanging out like whoa
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
