Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
