Just fell off a train. Bad.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
two words...techno handjob
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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