Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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