Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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