We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize