Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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