matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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