when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize