How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
