Buhtt sex?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
