...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
