look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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