i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize