can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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