Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
