Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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