I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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