420 ftw
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
