My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
