I wish I could punch you in the face.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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