"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
