I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize