I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
