I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize