shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
