some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize