i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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