So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
