last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
