You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
