Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
