i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
