Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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