also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
