Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
