we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
