just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
