I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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