oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
