Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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