it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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