i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
